A Mother’s Loss

It’s really hard to believe that my mother died over five-and-a-half years ago. It was a terrible shock to me when she died. She had suffered from a stroke. All the neurosurgeons who were taking care of her expected mom to make a full recovery. So I made plans to have a take out dinner for Easter Sunday and eat it with my mom while she ate her hospital food. I was one of the lay readers in the Easter Vigil Mass the night before as was the plan. I got home at eleven o’clock. Then the phone rang. I wondered who could be calling me that late. It was my brother to tell me she had died. I burst into tears as I wondered what I was going to do without her. I went on a total downward spiral emotionally which only ended two years later when I contacted meningitis and nearly died myself. Looking back on my relationship with my mom makes me think that it was complicated to say the least. Part of that complication came from the fact that I had been living with my mom so we were around each other 24/7. I felt that I could do nothing right for her where my friends who knew her say she was only using tough love on me. I felt like all we did was fight and bicker like cats and dogs. But you know what? Now I miss her more than anything in the world.